I am Fat, Disabled AND worthy

Hey there, I know I'm not the most consistent around here these days and I can only apologise. Life has changed so much, I've changed a lot too. But I don't want to leave this space empty, so here goes:

I'm still working from home, doing the usual 9-5 and making ends meet but now I have two little companions to keep me company each day. They are an absolute joy, even if a little naughty at times. If you follow me on social media you'll already know - but these two little boys are Batman and Robin. Appropriately named for Batman's little mask on his face and Robin being the perfect little sidekick and the youngest of his litter. These two play together, nap together, bark at random objects together, and absolutely adore each other - and we really love them too.

They're six months old now, and its flown by faster than I thought, but so has this year. I can't believe we are already in November and on the way to (dare I say it) Christmas, I feel like we shouldn't even be past Summer yet but I guess another year mostly in the house will do that to a person.

I still don't go out all that much, but have started venturing further - I even went to a conference with my union recently, it was for Disabled Members and for the first time in so long I felt kind of whole, accepted and understood. During this last couple of years its been tough being disabled, if you know, you know.  But at the conference I was surrounded by people who had been through it, who had similar conditions to me as well as completely different disabilities and I feel like I learnt so much and felt so valued. I always take a lot away from these conferences but especially this one. It was also really amazing to see long time friends again and make new ones - that's the thing with a trade union, its a family - you feel almost like you're coming home when you return to conference. You can be from anywhere in the country, have any background, do all kinds of jobs, and have a world of interests but the common ground you find yourself on at conference really brings you together, and reminds you what you're fighting for. I needed that reminder this year, to bring me back to my activism and push me forwards; It did that in strides.  I'm ready for another year of standing up for disabled workers, especially those of us who are young and often discounted from many conversations around disability. We're not all over a certain age. 

Photo at Liverpool Docks on the evening at conference

I'm also inspired to keep talking about disability here and on my social media, not so long ago my friend Sarah set up #FatDisabledWorthy - an account and hashtag which talks all about the experience of those who are fat (or plus size if you prefer, but fat is not a dirty word on this blog), and living with a disability - so often we are unrepresented, missed out from the conversation, and considered unpalatable. But no more. 

As plus size disabled people, we often face discrimination - even from others with disabilities. But, our worth is not determined by our weight, our worth is just as high as our thinner counterparts. We are human, we are beautiful just as we are, we have people we love, and those who love us, we have pets, hobbies, interests, favourite TV shows, favourite pyjamas, we are well rounded human beings. We have just as much worth in this world as anyone else, and what we bring to the table is important.

Fat Disabled Worthy is about getting representation for people like us, showing that we are worthy, not despite our size, but with it and it is about damn time. I'm so proud of Sarah for what she has started, and I am all for seeing more people like me represented in the media, campaigns and when it comes to discussions around disabled life. 

I try my best to offer representation here in this space, and on social media but with lots of us standing together we can make change. So go ahead and follow @FatDisabledWorthy on Instagram to see some fantastic posts from activists, bloggers, influencers, and plenty more to come. Also, follow my very good friend Sarah on @fromSarahLex for a talented, wonderful person who is leading the fight for change as well as talking about her experiences as a fat, disabled woman. 

We're coming to the end of another year without Curve Fashion Festival, and I missed it a lot. I missed the experience of meeting up with friends, making new ones, talking to brands about their collections and seeing all the lovely clothes, the catwalks, meeting bloggers, and enjoying that atmosphere that only Curve has. Its an event like no other, where you feel accepted for who you are, how you look, what you wear and its one of the best events I've had the pleasure of going to (with the exception of the last one, but I digress). I was looking forward to this years event especially, as last year's had been cancelled with the pandemic and the plan was for it to return to a more accessible venue. I'm sad that it didn't go ahead, and the ticket money returning to my account felt very final. With the announcement that it will not happen once again in 2022 I do wonder if it will become a gap in the market yet again, a gap that so rightfully needs to be filled - plus size people don't get much opportunity to go out and strut their stuff at a fashion event in this world, we're still not really represented on the red carpet all too often. I have hope that it will one day return, but also that maybe one day there will be more than just one event for us.

Photo at my first ever Curve Fashion Festival - 2017 

I often start my Christmas shopping at Curve, or at least start to build my ideas - this year I have actually started, but I seem more stuck on my ideas than usual. I guess not seeing people much in over a year will do that. But I am hoping that finally next year we can start to make plans again, I could do with a holiday, drinks with the girls, and most importantly some new adventures. I'll keep my fingers crossed, but I'm still watching those numbers.

On the numbers, I finally got that 'at risk group' text nearly two years in, meaning I could get my booster jab scheduled in and done. I had it done a couple of days after booking, and am confident in my decision; I am happy that its done and I'd encourage anyone who is able to, to get booked in. In this world, as disabled people especially, we often have to look out for ourselves because not everyone will care about our lives, we are 'just' a number and I do not want to be another statistic if I can help it. I will do what I can to protect myself, and those around me. 

Now we come to today, I'm sitting with a pup sleeping next to me, Disney+ on the TV, watching too many Tiktok's, (of which I make stupid ones when I'm bored, but am terrible at it) and thinking ahead. We're coming to the end of another year where we couldn't really plan ahead, and I'm really hoping for a future where we can. But I guess we're all watching that space.

I at least hope for more tattoo's in the future, like this new beauty I got recently:

Have a great evening. 
Nici x

Some more cute photos of the boys:

Some of my other posts:

Love, Loss and Covid

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